Sometimes . . .

Sometimes I want to eat an entire See's Candy store.
Sometimes I want to have a different life.
Sometimes I wish I was popular.
Sometimes I wish I was better looking.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't as judgmental
Sometimes I don't want to be preoccupied with what others *might* think of me.
Sometimes I don't write for weeks on end.
Sometimes I cry because of family problems.
Sometimes I don't want to be here anymore.
Sometimes I wish I told people in my *real* life that I have 11 books written so they wouldn't think I was a waste of space.
Sometimes I don't want people to say they think I'm perfect just the way I am because I know that's not true.
Sometimes I wish I had a better style, looked better in my favorite clothes, etc.
Sometimes I wish I had a prettier smile.

But then,

Sometimes I want to scarf down vegetables and fruits because I know that's what my body really wants. 
Sometimes I'm grateful for the life I have been given.
Sometimes I remember that being an introvert is okay.
Sometimes I glad to have a working body with limited handicaps when others who are not as blessed make more out of it than I do.
Sometimes I remember that I'm judgemental becuase of people who have hurt me and I can always become better.
Sometimes I remind myself that really, it doesn't matter what people think as long as I like myself. 
Sometimes I write 10,000 words for a new novel in a day and stay on a steady schedule of 5,000 words a day.
Sometimes I remember the good times I can have with my family in the future.
Sometimes I can't imagine not living on the earth at this time.
Sometimes I remember that I can surprise everyone when they do find out about my books and enjoy reading them. 
Sometimes I'm grateful for people's comments.
Sometimes I remember that I feel comfortable with what I wear and that's good because it's me.
Sometimes I smile for no reason other than the fact that I'm alive. 

Sometimes I'm sad.
Sometimes I'm happy.

But all the time, I am me.


Aiden